For those of you kind enough to spend time reading this blog, I thank you. My hope is that you find something here that is a melody from your own heart and your own life.
As I prepare to fly out to see my family, making sure that I have enough clean underwear and lots of T-shirts because it is hotter than hell there this August, I have lots of fearful thoughts. I am very much afraid to fly. I am always sure that I will die in that metal tube as turbulence commences. I am flat out sure of it. Thus is phobia and thus is my own fear. So, I shall try all the tricks to distract myself from my perceived peril. There is no other way except spending four days on the train or three days in the Mini. So, as in life, my decision to fly holds consequences. As my favorite movie character Violet claims, "We make our own choices. We pay our own prices."
Today I found a big lump on my Greyhound's chest near his dog armpit. It is big. It is the weekend. And so we decided to let it go until I return and then I shall take him to the Vet. Lots of feelings come up and I must say, he has been ancient for many years since Rosie died. For the both of us, it aged us in a way no other love could. Rosie was a dog warrior and my best friend and his too. The consequence of loving a dog is that they shall exit before we do most likely. I have been there for three deaths thus far and each rocked me to the very bone of my character.
My hope, though the voice of other cancers is present in the wings, is that Jade has some fatty deposit. However, I know that lumps can be something much, much more serious and I know what would be required of me. He and I shall decide should seriousness prevail. If not, he will have lots of time to bitch at the other two girl Greyhounds who seem to egg him on every day. He is my beamish boy and I am worried about him. Taking our lumps is part of life and part of living as a feeling human being. There is no other way. Lumps or not, we must take them as they arrive.
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