Record Temperatures and the 700 club

After having slept a few extra hours I feel ready for a new day here in Texas.  This week they are having record temperatures and it has emerged as Texas appearing deep pink on the weather map.  Just Texas.  Each day the triple digit numbers play out across the screen....106,106,106,105,106 and I think of home and our foggy mornings that we complain about.  Fog doesn't ripen all those tomatoes.And yet, it would still be possible to go for a run at this hour.

I had strange dreams and woke several times.  It is so quiet here and that is a currency I may never get to spend. I love the quiet and I yearn for that in my life.  My life.  It is a bit of an odd expression for something that one realizes when it doesn't fit anymore.  I have had a few times like that over the last decades.  On the job front, and it does feel that way as if one were dug into a trench trying to survive, I wish things would shift.  I will need to feel connected in order to move forward and to survive.  Even here in Texas, when I am taking a break from looking, voice mail messages fool me into thinking it might be an employer.  That new habit of mine is really draining.

Yesterday, we sat in the Outpatient Surgery lobby for my niece while she came to and it is always an odd place to be.  A netherworld.  Waiting and hoping for information about your loved one. The TV asserted its presence and I am not used to so much TV.  I don't watch it at all and so all that popular culture clogs my thoughts.  The hospital was showing the 700 club and I could hear something about a "personal savior" as my sister and I talked to one another.  Is there an impersonal savior? 

For me, I don't want my beliefs to have a slogan and so I keep it more of my own making.  This works tremendously for me and I am part of a spiritual community, I know when something feels wrong, and I struggle with my own inner turmoil and faith in a way that makes living a dynamic event.  I don't need a club to tell me how to explore what is right here in my heart. 

Today the Austin newspaper remarks that the heat here broke 100 water pipes last week.  Frogs are drinking out of hummingbird feeders and animal, human and otherwise, are hanging on with anticipation of rain that may not come until 2012.  It is Wednesday and I shall miss swimming the lane next to Ms. M.  I know she is there gliding along as if it were completely natural.  Bless you Sonoma County.