Judge Tingling And A Sunny Day In NYC

Today we got married in New York City.  It was a long journey to this point with more than a few obstacles that started to make it seem like we would not make it to the court today.  However, as in life, our love prevailed and the generosity of my partner's sister and her husband, native New Yorkers.

In NY gay men and lesbians are allowed to get married by the justice at the New York City Clerk.  One must wait 24 hours after filling out the application or get a waiver.  Yesterday, we spent half of the day getting there to file the papers and waiting for our number to come up to complete the task.  We also went to see Times Square and Central Park and all that and just being a country girl in NYC was over the top.  Unimaginable really and just like the movies. 

On the train back to Long Island where we are staying, we got on no less than three wrong trains, then the cab got lost too and home to a bit more drama than we each could handle.  Almost.  Maybe that was the shining glory test of our devotion.  Funny how knowing one another for many years before today can make it difficult and also perfect to weather storms that are part of life.

We  woke early and went to NYC.  When we got there, the court bailiff told us that the judge was available for about 30 minutes more to do our marriage ceremony.  We just made it and walked into Room 321 and into an almost empty courtroom with worn wooden tables and chairs and an enormous group of words above the judge's bench that reads: IN GOD WE TRUST. Indeed. 

One couple was there to be married and we watched as Justice Tingling entered and summoned them to the front of the bench.  He was funny, erudite, insightful, real and very loving.  We, their audience of four, cried and clapped when they pronounced them husband and wife.

Our turn came and we came before Judge Tingling who stood and joked with us to ease our tension.  He directed our commitment to one another and I started crying.  Judge Tingling's message, above everything else he said to us, is that many people come before him, and many same sex couples from California.  He encouraged us to take our love and spread it to the rest of the world with pride and strength.

We cried, we committed to one another for life and we hugged and left Judge Tingling's courtroom better humans. We had a big lunch together and met another couple who had been married the day before.  Two men from North Carolina who traveled to NYC.  From all corners, we come to NYC to be recognized and respected and we received a blessing much bigger than we could have dreamed. I thought of my own family in Texas and how much their love heals me and made me want to make sure they know that.  To all of you in Texas, I love you!

We then walked to the World Trade Center Memorial and spent the next few hours in a place of reverence that surely met our spiritual leapfrog.  I have always wanted to see that sacred place and remember the many who died  that day and gave their lives saving others.  For me, the heart of NYC is within a simple truth that rings loudly in every corner of the city.  Love, respect and compassion are everywhere in as much as the exotic, beautiful faces of multi-ethnic brides and grooms in the clerk's office of the New York City Clerk. 

Thank you New York.  Bless you!

Start Spreadin' The News

We are flying to New York tomorrow to see my partner's sister and her family, and to get married.  Since our home state, the lovely but retarded California, made same sex marriage a no-no, we are flying off to find the people who are willing to challenge their assumptions and do the right thing.

For me, I am so glad that it is somewhere else, somewhere they had to deal with jets flying into buildings, somewhere people from Europe came on ships to start new lives, somewhere they don't take anyone's crap but somewhere that they also feel passionately.

For me, California is all I have ever known and it is beautiful here.  Northern California especially and we all know it.  However, the state taxes are killing us and they are about to increase.  Living here has become a place I want to leave because affording it fuels stress that is endless.  I am sick of my home state saying I don't count because I am a minority class of humans.  Not even.

So, Frank Sinatra has been singing in my head this week as we get ready to travel to NY and I hope that my fear of flying and adventuring out into the world is met with the kind of joy that committing further to the one I love can only bring.  We shall make "a whole new start of it" and thank you for that, New York.