Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Hummingbird In Winter

The wee Hummingbird who has lived off our nectar producing plants is still with us and I see him from sunrise into sunset trying to find new blossoms to get him through another chilly day.  He is so tiny and I have taken to supplementing him with some sugar water that he no longer has to share with the bees and yellow jackets, now gone. 

He is living off of the salvia and abutilon blooms that persevere through winter.





He seems undaunted, eating to survive and surviving to eat.  I don't see him sitting on some bird couch, looking out the window and wondering where he is headed in life.  He knows somehow. As for me, I apply for jobs, working hard on the cover letter to set myself apart and listen to the silence of my resume hitting the black hole at lightening speed.  Me and everyone else.  Well, not everyone else but there are still so many of us. 

Recently, I applied for a job at the City of Santa Rosa and was invited to sit for the exam.  When I entered the lobby of the auditorium, there were many people there, checking their devices or looking nonchalant or trying to appear relaxed.  I dressed the part thinking it might boost my spirits.  I must say, it was a weird exam and I did alright.  However, as I did not score in the top five %, I did not get the interview.  I have been working on finding meaningful work for two years.  Whew, I almost had to buy a new suit.

Even more recently, I have applied for whatever seemed remotely interesting with the same deafening silence.  As there are two of us in our house looking for jobs, it is good to just vent about it with someone.  It does feel as if nothing is going to change but, like the Hummingbird, we must persist and try our best, sometimes hungry and a bit broken, and sometimes more neutral.

Just the same, to be a Hummingbird in winter means that each blossom holds the promise of a meal and each sunrise holds the hope of a job that can sustain us through the new year.