The absence of writing in this blog, though it saved my sanity many times, has come about through growing out of the victim attitude that came to rest with me for almost four years.
It can be said, as my sister put it: "You aren't a doormat if you are not lying down!"
At the time she said that, I just could not feel the breadth of that cheeky joke and now I do all too well.
The Dancing Carrot came about when I felt that I had to don a Carrot suit and dance to get an employer to recognize my skills. At the time, I felt sorry for me and I was very sad and hopeless and frantic. So were many other people and that was 2010.
I had so many really bad retail jobs that I am a much nicer customer. To become a pyramid slave, one must have joined the chain gang.
Halloween night this past year, something snapped in my mind as I was being manipulated once more by someone close to me. True enough, I was about to run the first of three 1/2 marathons and all that training made me feel more confident and more clear about what real strength I had. The pain, the effort and the long talks with the "God" of my understanding" made me stop, turn, see what was happening and not just say no, but HELL NO!
I am saying goodbye to the places in my hometown county that I love, appreciating them and thanking them. I am heading to a new adventure and I did not get there by being a doormat.
I have outgrown "The Carrot" and I have come to feel comfortable in my skin like never before-I am surely old enough!-and I can handle loneliness, sadness and fear with more understanding in my own spirit and what it takes to accept crumbs.
The Dancing Carrot suit is still in my closet in order to remind me about where I have been and how I shed my victim status. I shall tuck in this blog for the time capsule and venture out into my second chance at being the human that I was always meant to become.
Thank you!
