Monday, April 8, 2013

The Other F Word

Things have not been silent in my mind for the past month yet my fingers have refrained from reaching for the keyboard for various existential reasons.  However, today I was struck by yet another facet to the strange goings on where I work-a small business in a silly little town in not-so-golden California.  Home of the 10% sales tax.

Today, I watched while the psycho co-worker I share my Mondays and Tuesdays with chatted up one of the bosses as is often the case.  I often watch them as we wind our way through the day, clustering as a duo for 20 minutes at a time and it sure looks like some kind of fan club. Let's get matching hats shall we?

To an outsider, or maybe I should just say, to someone who is not part of the work "A" list, it looks to be that my co-worker is groomed for additional authority, special projects and of course, special consideration.  From where I stand with my non-existent stature, it appears that no one else at work is privy to that tryst nor will I ever see what they see in one another save preference and devotion.  Duh!

I always hoped that I would be able to "retire" after giving a Supervisor position a run past my own inner dialog about preference and fairness.  I wanted to test myself to look deeper than all the people for whom I have worked that have seemed to fail the litmus test of fairness and equality in management.  I have begun to feel that I shall not find a way in life to be the kind of Supervisor who instills greatness in those less fortunate.  I wanted to be a part of others being recognized accurately and also to encourage with some authority behind that hope.

Alas, I am part of the grunt class and yet, I have eyes and I see so many things.  For me, that kind of favoritism is the other "F" word.