Today I spent the morning at my favorite food bank who serves the men, women and children in our county who live with HIV. We provide groceries and provide referrals and resource contacts. We sometimes are their sole contact in life and so we cajole and show interest in their lives. I find it to be the best volunteer service out of many as it has a fun loving spirit with hundreds of volunteers who are very dedicated to the clients.
I have been working there on Thursday mornings this month to sub for a volunteer who is off gallivanting in Europe. Lucky man. Each volunteer time slot has its own click it seems and I have not felt that cushy feeling I get on Saturdays. They know one another and not me so they have their preferences. However, two volunteers have been friendly and I felt comfortable with them. We all serve the clients first and foremost so it isn't that hard to just do the work. It is a pleasure actually.
Truth be told, I am there to be of service and I get some happiness from pretending it is a grocery store where I work. I still yearn to stock groceries and produce. At FFT, I do just that. I laugh too and meet new people. It is a place with a big heart and I feel honored to be one of the many, many volunteers.
However, today I came home feeling distracted by the two deaths of volunteers recently. J. and E. were volunteers and men living with AIDS. I was stunned in a way and kept thinking of their faces as I drove home past the few apple orchards left in Sebastopol and now blooming. I thought of J. who had a very wry wit and whom I wrote about in this blog at one time. I thought of E. who had served at FFT since the 1990s and I cannot imagine that he has died.
It is that simple, in life, that the deaths of people who came into my circle made me feel their loss profoundly. Being at FFT is all the more meaningful because we help people living with HIV live. Some of us have become complacent about the idea of cocktails as a prescription for eternal life. As a friend who came in for groceries today said, "We have been through this before." AIDS is still killing our brethren. God speed my friends, you are already greatly missed.
