It isn't that I ever thought I would be a writer in life though I can write. This is the place where I utilize the gift I was given in life. Since friends are hard to come by and a spiritual community that is genuine and respectful has spun out of my atmosphere, I have this place, blessed and real and from the heart of who I am. It is enough.
This week has been strange with each day holding some test and not exactly cerebral fitness either. On Monday, Mr. Big II returned from his out of country six week vacation and Mr. Big I called in sick. So that meant that little old me was asked to get the 40 lb leaf blower and "blow the campus" as Mr. Big I likes to say. I did. It was something I knew how to do and it isn't much fun but I did think about Lara Croft. Of course I did. That obnoxious machine sputters blue smoke because they never clean it and it weighs almost half my total weight. I walk like an astronaut pushing my legs forward as I balance the thing on my wee back and blow the leaves to the curb. It isn't that easy actually. However, I can do it and I did. Duh.
That day I went to see a friend who is in the Skilled Nursing unit. She is 92 years old and has been losing weight and getting more frail for the last year. She was a brilliant woman in life and the day I went to see her she was lying in bed with her face turned toward the light through the window, sleeping the sleep of a 92 year old. We spoke only briefly and I just touched her hand lightly and told her that I love her. She felt compelled to go back to sleep. I went to eat my lunch and cried as I ate, sitting on the bench, watching the sky and the wind in the big oak tree and realizing that death comes whether we are ready or not.
As I finished my lunch a resident came out of her apartment and found a dead bird. She was talking to me as she found it and I said that I would take it and bury it. I tucked it into my cloth napkin and carried its limp body. How strange and ominous. The bird was a cedar waxwing probably migrating over our part of the world. I buried it under one of the apple trees and patted the earth flat over its small grave.
Tuesday and Wednesday meant using the weed whacker which is kind of like the leaf blower only slightly less obnoxious! Today Mr. Big II was in his usual grumpy mood and he found a few things to pick on me about and that was a whole lotta fun. Mr. Big I and II both like to think up things for me to do, criticize and then find more fault. They are maintenance guys not gardeners and it shows. Today the man who hired me was demoted though it was never explained to me. The management company has been hired and things are starting to twitch around the campus.
One day at a time has become my mantra as the changes begin to grind out of the wonderful place where I work. I may be the first to go or just one of the ones to go. I have no idea. Each day, I just do the best I can, deal with those silly men who have no idea who that girl wearing the leaf blower is, take in the beauty, smile to others I meet and feel grateful that I may have one more paycheck coming. In fact, tomorrow is donut payday and for me, that is what it is like to live one day at a time in the life of The Carrot.
