Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The Cardinal At The Window
We are home now from our Thanksgiving trip to be with family in Austin, Texas. Apparently the flight was smooth though I was comatose upright in seat 14C with my mouth hanging open. Ah, my traveling companion Xanax. Without a tranquilizer for air travel, I am a quaking, terrified mess. With it, I am outta there yet capable of flying the unfriendly skies thanks to my understanding physician. I am very grateful to her.
Home this morning in our northern California abode, I went outside with one of the Greyhounds to a cold backyard, clear blue skies and the wee hummingbird who sat on the bare branch of our patio tree. He was within three feet of us and I marveled at his squat self with a iridescent ruby throat. Tiny, like me, here in my tiny, simple life, hanging onto a bare branch in winter, hoping for my next meal.
I was comparing that feeling of the miracle of this beautiful morning in the life I left seven days ago which needs a radical overhaul with the persistent pecking of the glorious, though mad, Cardinal who woke us every morning in Austin. We would wake to the constant peck at the window of a red Cardinal at the window who is sure that his reflection is another bird there to do harm. Such is the story line in my mind. The Cardinal at the window.
Though I am in great need of a job, a direction, decisions for my life, friends and change, I also can see that the pecking and fearful thoughts of my monkey mind are a reflection of my fears that I try to avoid. Peace does not come at a hidden cost. Peace is seeing the reflection of one's adversary and knowing that we are one in the same. Breathe, stay, breathe.
No flying at the window is going to change what is. The Cardinal at the window, this morning, is a great reminder that I can stay and breathe and still not know all the answers today.
Home this morning in our northern California abode, I went outside with one of the Greyhounds to a cold backyard, clear blue skies and the wee hummingbird who sat on the bare branch of our patio tree. He was within three feet of us and I marveled at his squat self with a iridescent ruby throat. Tiny, like me, here in my tiny, simple life, hanging onto a bare branch in winter, hoping for my next meal.
I was comparing that feeling of the miracle of this beautiful morning in the life I left seven days ago which needs a radical overhaul with the persistent pecking of the glorious, though mad, Cardinal who woke us every morning in Austin. We would wake to the constant peck at the window of a red Cardinal at the window who is sure that his reflection is another bird there to do harm. Such is the story line in my mind. The Cardinal at the window.
Though I am in great need of a job, a direction, decisions for my life, friends and change, I also can see that the pecking and fearful thoughts of my monkey mind are a reflection of my fears that I try to avoid. Peace does not come at a hidden cost. Peace is seeing the reflection of one's adversary and knowing that we are one in the same. Breathe, stay, breathe.
No flying at the window is going to change what is. The Cardinal at the window, this morning, is a great reminder that I can stay and breathe and still not know all the answers today.
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