In the past, we have trucked off to the coast to avoid naming our grief and to pretend we were not alone on the first of the holidays in winter. We have, quite literally, been left alone here at the corner with the dogs and our version of a vegetarian dinner. Yes, we could have invited the homeless over and pretended that our grief was another chance to do for others what was not done for us. Underneath, there is always that loneliness however. The adult children go off and find other families and our friends were not really friends it seems.
This year, we threw caution to the wind and drained our savings of some moolah for very overpriced airline tickets to be near the people we love and who love us without reservation. Wanted and loved, it is that simple. To me, it is important to stop knocking on the doors that open to nothingness as much as doing something scary instead. Flying is definitely scary for me. Terrifying actually.
The dogs will have an excellent caretaker and they will be doing much of what they have been doing this week-sleeping. They are wanted and loved and we are glad to do it for them as Greyhounds still need our help desperately.
We shall get through the flight to Austin, find my wee sister waiting for us at the bottom of the escalator and join our family whom we want and love and share a holiday that hopes to be the first of a long line of traditions that stretch us and beckon us from our self imposed wasteland.
Austin, here we come!
