Not waiting for Monday

For those of us who cannot seem to make a beginning these days, this summer, this year when we hope for a change in our lives that includes a job and a paycheck to attend our efforts, some chance to put ourselves forward into the stream that seems to ebb below the surface of each week that carries everyone else down the river of life.  For those of us who cannot seem to get any, albeit very little, recognition of our skills, our energy and our selves in the work world, Monday looms.  It can if you are waiting for an answer from the world that never seems to call. It can seem like a very cruel joke.  It is, at least, an unfeeling response.  I don't feel or imagine it is about deserving but it is about being chosen.  For me, this is a very slippery slope.  To feel solid about oneself when all around you other people are getting ready to go to a party that you were not invited to and won't be, begins with strength of character. 

So today, as Monday looms, and the week fans out like a gambler's hand secreted close to the body, I have places to volunteer, some home projects, some life projects and I still have hope that an answer or several will emerge from the bracken.  However, I am doing most of this life without waiting.  I am moving on regardless of the lack of response to my resume or applications.  I hold the line and seek, apply and send my request into the unknown but I don't wait.  I plan and volunteer and move in my life.  This is not easy.  This does not mean I don't ever worry.  This is not some kind of Zen fearless zone.  This is living and being and hoping that one day "Peter" will arrive in town and hold interviews.  This is doing my best to believe in myself and my goals.  Not waiting for Monday is a job in itself. 

For today, we will go hiking in one of our most beloved places, cast a view towards Jenner and eat some home packed lunch.  It is that easy today.  Tomorrow will be a bit harder.  Tomorrow is Monday.