Rosie's Legacy

Even through the depths of an ongoing mourning of the loss of my best friend, I feel so very thankful to have known the fathoms of the kind of love that can happen between a dog and a human.  I am lucky, I believe, to have known Rosie for almost eight and a half years, during which many other losses, joys, celebrations and challenges came our way.  Rosie was and remains my best friend.

Rosie's legacy is the healing that comes from a dog's love.  Many of us know what that is like and it can be hard to ever get over the loss of it.  Maybe never and at this point in life, I see that as a testimony to the strength of the selfless care that dogs bring to our lives. For me, Rosie is one of a kind though my yearning takes me to the reaches of almost desperation when I meet other people's pets that have that quality of connection that I so long to receive. Although we have three dogs and I am attached to them as if my own appendage, they are not Rosie. 

Rosie came into my life strangely happenstance and I was remembering it today.  I had put in an application for a Greyhound ex-racer with Greyhound Friends For Life without many qualifications other than a female.  Barbara called me from GFFL and said she had a female available and that she was "a great dog."  Although I didn't ask further but said I would leave pronto for Brisbane to pick her up, Barbara mentioned that Rosie had been returned because her color did not match the adopters existing Greyhound.  Someone's stupidity or just my fate, I shall never know for sure. 

I walked into Bonnie's house and there were many Greyhounds there being fostered.  She showed Rosie into the room, I squatted down to be on her level and Rosie came to stand in the circle of my knees and leaned against me.  I felt right then that Rosie had chosen me.  A party colored red and white girl, Rosie had those Cleopatra eyes that some Greyhounds have.  There is a photo somewhere of Rosie and I that evening and she seems to be smiling yet I was the one who would be changed forever by her choice.

On December 26th over five years ago Rosie broke her leg at the shoulder in a sudden movement when I came home from work.  At the emergency hospital, X rays showed that she had a tumor at the break sight. Osteosarcoma is common in Greyhounds and other large boned breeds like Wolfhounds and Great Danes.  The treatment is amputation and chemotherapy but a front leg is an extremely difficult leg to lose as dogs carry 60% of their weight on the front legs.  Amputations never seemed like an option to me though I know we all have to make that decision for ourselves.

I had already been through the death of my other Greyhound, Major, the prior year from the same disease. He was lame in one front leg from a broken toe that was taking forever to heal and then the other front revealed a tumor in the other front leg. Again, amputation seems like an incredibly cruel and less than sure remedy for cancer. Rosie's break was shocking and yet I knew what I felt was right. I just needed another day to say farewell.

For me, saying goodbye to Rosie on 12/27 took more than I had that day as far as courage and conviction. Euthanasia is difficult enough and yet we are the guardians who must show bravery in the face of suffering. My vet. at the time is an extraordinary woman and I still remember finally having to leave the room after Rosie's heart stopped and I wept over her lovely self, and the image of Dr. Canon's concern and compassion.

Many years have come and gone since that day and I am just not the same.  Part of me is always missing since Rosie's death and that is not an exaggeration.  I still find myself yearning for that kind of connection with a dog though I know, intellectually, that it will not be the same.  Sometimes I meet dogs that come close in a way though it simply reveals my own loneliness for my best friend who died.

I always mark 12/27 in some way because I am without my sentry and it shows.  However, I am lucky to have been in the right time at the right place.  Another person's stupidity allowed me to find that very incredible connection to an animal that travels beyond language right to the heart.

May we all find a way to make room in our homes for the many dogs who need us on this planet.  There are many places to find a great dog.  May all of you find just that.  For me, I keep a photo of Rosie next to the bed and in my Mini and right here in my heart of hearts.  A torch always burns steadily for the dog who was my best friend. Rosie's legacy is a journey of a lifetime.

www.greyhoundfriendsforlife.org/