The Carrot And The Missed Dance Step

I was reading the current Bohemian newspaper with squinted eyes in the waiting room tonight because I don't carry my reading glasses and seem to always try to read fine print anyway.  I could see enough due to the miracle of eye surgery in one eye and read the Project Censored top 10 old media's most ignored news stories.  My one good eye lit upon 10: The 'real' unemployment rate.

It seems that "Project Censored highlights an article by Greg Hunter published on Information Clearinghouse, claiming that the "real" unemployment rate is actually 22.1 percent, or one out of five U.S. residents."  Their assessment includes "discouraged workers and the marginally employed" and not simply jobless humans collecting unemployment checks.  More real, more now.  Frightening and I know too well what that feels like and no wonder.  http://www.projectcensored.org

Knowing what I know about the last year of life, I try to understand that my current job has a wider margin of error than it ever did in life.  Though I am struggling with obvious gender complications while surrounded by less than sophisticated co-workers, I am not running for my car when the going gets tough for a number of reasons, one big reason is #10 on Project Censored's list.

I do feel, and especially lately as friends who called themselves friends when I was around 24/7 have disappeared(except for the divine Ms. M. who meets me for coffee in my very sweaty, dirty and raw self after work) and don't return calls or email.  People are often off on their own kite string once you turn the light onto your own path.  Having made that worn out analogy, I am still balancing all of my own responsibilities and trying to find time to run, work out at the gym, swim, do Qigong, garden at home, love people, fall asleep on the couch with an old John Irving book and help myself get through this dark time in my life. 

I feel like I am a Dancing Carrot that was kicked off of the show for having two left feet..  I feel like a carrot who used to dance and now just watches from the sidelines.  Maybe I just feel like The Carrot who missed a dance step yet who will always keep on tapping away until they call security.  (The Dancing Carrot)