Penny Inhales

I think I might be heading for a world record of unemployment periods in the last two years or maybe not.  I know I have lots of company, I just don't know how to find those fellow humans.  They may be home watching T.V. Trying to reinvent oneself creates a great disturbance in the force or at least, my force, my life.  I feel pretty disturbed. 

And so, once again, I am gathering volunteer gigs from our local area.  For me, having nothing to do does not mean I head towards the T.V.  Truthfully, I did get some brochures on travel cruises because I need a big change.  Then, duh, I realized that cruises don't happen during the winter!  Can you say...iceberg ahead!  Ah, well, I can dream of getting away with thousands of others.  Having no job means one had lots of time to ponder getting the hell out of here.  How is another matter.

Yesterday, I drove up Petrified Forest Rd. to Equi-Ed and a potential volunteer opportunity. A new idea thanks to my brother-in-law, I wanted to be around horses and help my fellow humans.  Equi-Ed allows people with disabilities to find new ways to move and new ways of seeing themselves with the help of horses and their trainers.  For me, a chance to shovel some horse poop and be outside was key.  The program director walked me around the facility and I met several horses. 

However, it was Penny, a big, bay horse who towered above me in her stall, who made an impression I will not easily forget.  Penny, her head above me, pressed her nose to the gate of her stall and inhaled deeply.  She actually inhaled me as a greeting.  Her nostrils wide and right in my face, I felt the wind of her breath against my cheek.  Wow.  Incredible.  That settled it for me.  I am ready to show up and do whatever is needed.  Penny lifted my spirits up and I really needed it.

I am doing my best though I feel discouraged as never before, attempting new ideas, running farther on my run days, contacting new volunteer directors, meditating and trying not to worry so much.  It is frightening to have so little money and even more frightening to have so little chances to get a job, keep a job and thrive in a job.  It is everything, but it is essential if you are going to live here, in the most expensive county in California, or anywhere from Ashland, Oregon to Austin, Texas to somewhere in Vermont. 

For today, I am thankful for a big horse with a lungful of horse breath.  Thank you Penny!